How to annoy people

34 Different Ways to Annoy People

• Leave the copy machine set to enlarge 200%, extra dark, A3 paper, 99 copies.
• Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
• Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
• If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.
• Sing along at the opera.
• Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
• Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
• Practice making fax and modem noises.
• Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
• Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
• 17. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
• Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
• Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.
• 12. Randomly number list items
• Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
• Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
• Staple papers in the middle of the page.
• Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
• Honk and wave to strangers.
• Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
• TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
• type only in lowercase.
• dont use any punctuation either
• Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
• Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
• As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Indent randomly,
  And cut off sencences halfway through a
• Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait, I messedit up," and repeat.
• 92. Ask people what gender they are.
• While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
• In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
• Try to put time you have spent in a brothel under legit expenses for entertainment.
• Stamp on little plastic ketchup packets.
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
• Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
• TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD!
• When you specify that a list has a certain number of items, make sure it doesn't. Go on, count them...

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