How to annoy people
34 Different Ways to Annoy People
- Leave the copy machine set to enlarge 200%, extra dark, A3 paper, 99 copies.
- Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
- Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- 17. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
- Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.
- 12. Randomly number list items
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
- Staple papers in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
- TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
- type only in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole
streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Indent randomly,
And cut off sencences halfway through a
- Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait, I messedit up," and repeat.
- 92. Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
- Try to put time you have spent in a brothel under legit expenses for entertainment.
- Stamp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
- TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD!
- When you specify that a list has a certain number of items, make sure it doesn't. Go on, count them...